I've been job hunting for almost 2 months now. I started a few weeks before my contract ended at Access Radio with the hopes I'd go straight from that into another job.
So far I have applied for every single job that looked like it was something I could do for a living.
Only one application has led to an interview and I got a call from them this morning saying "We ad upwards of 80 people and your interview was very impressive *misleading pause* however you were the second choice and we have given the position to someone else. We have some full time positions coming up shortly and do encourage you to apply for those"
Well that's great but remember the part in my application where I said "this part time position is ideal for me as it fits nicely around my current hours of study" ?
Yeah.
Every time I get one of those rejection emails with the professional mock sympathy I just die a little inside.
It starts off this horrible spiral of self confidence despair.
I begin to get all existential and start questioning the validity or point of my life.
What's the point of it all? Work my butt off for someone who doesn't appreciate me to pay for a bunch of stuff other people say I need and have some kids and tell them that they need to do the same thing to be considered normal and then I die.
Then I have a mini wake up call and realise that I hate most customer service people because they are retarded and can't do their job properly and I think heck, if those idiots can do it, so can I!
So I apply for a couple dozen more jobs only to be met with the same email time and again and I begin to doubt in myself once again but this time questioning my ability to do the simplest of tasks. What is it that makes me so unemployable? What vital social skill am I lacking that makes me undesirable in the workforce?
Oh God, what necessary part of my brain did you miss out when putting me together? Why don't you want me to have nice things?
I go through all these steps over and over again and slowly find myself further and further down the unemployment induced spiral until I feel like I should just give up and lie in bed forever because that is so much simpler than trying to function in society.
But I have too much pride to do that. I continue doggedly applying for anything that doesn't require a degree or some form of technical qualification in the hopes someone will find something they decide they can pay me for and I do it all at some horrendously inhumane hour of the morning which shouldn't even exist as far as I'm concerned.
I thought today I could go into costume making for a living, I do pretty well at making costumes for myself. The main issue would be mass producing the damn things.
Also I would be totally crap at running my own business cos I'd constantly forget to pay tax and stuff like that.
There is one tiny ray of hope in all of this, my friend just sent me a link on Facebook to a "Video Blogger" position that is basically all the things I did at Access Radio but in front of a camera instead. I could totally do that!
Fingers, toes,, tongue and eyes crossed.
I'm sorry that last part was a lie, I can't go cross-eyed.
But that, my dears, is a tale for another day!
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