How my weekend descended into madness

Recently I've been a bit depressed cos I'm dirt poor due to lack of employment resulting in very few cash assets.

Needless to say I've barely left the house recently. My Friday was spent watching 10 episodes of Sailor Moon and playing this cute game called Recettear which my flatmate gave me.

Throughout the day I had been exchanging txts with my friend Topher all using the Spaghatta Nadle spach ampadahmant.
(see here for a reminder,enjoy) http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/02/spaghatta-nadle.html

At some point Topher decided it would be awesome to bring over copious amounts of alcohol to my house and more anime than just Sailor Moon.  So we conversed entirely in that tone of voice, which can be extremely difficult depending on the number of syllables in your sentence.

Of course as part of our Spaghatta Nadle enactment, we had to read aloud the entire back story of Spaghatta Nadle (which is freaking hilarious bytheby). We ended up laughing til we could barely breath.

We spent the rest of the night speaking like that until we were exhausted, then we watched Death Note. Yeh.
Eventually that too exhausted us. That meant it was bedtime. Sadly Topher got a mattress behind a couch in the lounge while I stretched out gloriously on my bed. It went something like this:

In the morning my brain decided it was a silly idea to stay asleep past 930am. I was highly disappointed, especially when my bladder decided to join my brain in it's dastardly plan and further convince me to leave the haven that is my bed. Not long after, I could no longer maintain the desperate jiggling which was my half asleep attempt at not letting my bladder win.

Naturally my bladder's relentless onslaught won out and I hadda go peepee.
I tried to get back to my room without waking Topher, but he was already up.
So we returned to teh inturwebz

Some stupid part of us decided the internet was awesome and we should spend all our time sharing our favourite videos/pages/memes etc. We ended up spending 4 hours looking for one gif on www.m0ar.org (only go there if you have no soul and ALOT of time to kill) which only gave us more retardation fuel and memes to mock.

Naturally internets cn only fuel a person for so long and at some point we had to go get actual food.

As I'm dirt poor this meant both of us getting on Topher's scooter despite his Learner licence SSSHHH!!! and going down to the Freestore to pick up some free goodies. We parked the scooter and were half way to the store when Topher realised he'd left the keys in the ignition, but couldn't be bothered going back so we kept walking figuring we're only round the corner, what could happen?

Received our edible free goodness, returned to the scooter to find the keys NOT in the ignition.
We came to the conclusion that Topher must've locked them in the compartment used for storing stuff.
Which you need the key to open.
This pretty much sums up Topher's reaction:

We went to the police station to see if someone had possibly been super awesome and handed the keys in. Before we could ask we got the joy of listening to the officer on duty be accosted by a very angry, very shirtless Australian man who stormed out when Officer said he couldn't arrested some guy just cos they didn't get along, all the way shout profanities directed to the New Zealand police force as a whole.
Turned out the keys hadn't been handed in.

The only remaining solution was to bus home, get the spare key, bus back and hope the keys were inside.
They weren't.

Topher came back to my place for more internet lurking and some humour. We discovered that, thanks to the Freestore giving us horrendous amounts of jelly packets, we now have enough to make 20 litres of jelly.
Read that again.

20 LITRES OF PURE UNADULTERATED JELLY!
WE COULD FILL A PADDLING POOL WITH THAT SHIT!!!
We are currently planning a fundraiser jelly wrestling match so I can pay my phone bill.

Eventually he had to go home before it got too dark and before we started drinking again and the whole thing started over.

Somehow my attempt at being a good host and walking him to his vehicle descended into more ramblings of various retarded things we'd seen that day on m0ar.

We still have no idea where Topher's keys are.

Heygais! I moved house!

I finally decided to be a grown up and moved out of my Dad's house and into a flat right above campus, YAY!
I have done a number of grown up and... not so grown up things since I moved in.
First night, got really drunk and made a deal with flat mate that if he paid for pizza I would buy an equivalent amount of candy. We came back with $35 worth of candy...

BOUGHT A TURTLE! Hell yes. I'm all responsible and shit now. Her name is Squirtles

Started working for Greenpeace.

Stopped working for Greenpeace 3 weeks later. :/

Did grocery shopping by myself.

Went to the local bulk buy store to buy bulk groceries cos it's cheaper.
Came away from the bulk store with bulk candy.

Cried like a baby at Harry Potter 7 part 1 when Dobby died.

Went on a date! =O inoryt.

Hung out in my underwear for a whole day just cos I was too lazy to get dressed.

That's the highlights of my flatting life so far haha.
21 Chapters is still a work in progress. This shit's hard yo.

21 Chapters of Childhood, Chapter four.

When I was younger I had almost no depth perception. This was caused by my optic nerve being under developed at birth. This also resulted in some pretty hilarious accidents.

I would bump into door frames while walking through through doorways

I would try to grab things that were really far away

But possibly the most embarrassing and memorable of these is the day I tried to ride my bike through cement power pole.

I was so excited that I was riding my bike by myself with no freaking trainer wheels!!!

My Dad took my brothers and I out for a bike ride. He used the excuse that it would be fun but I think he just wanted to get us out of the house so we'd stop driving him crazy.

I hadn't quite mastered the straight line and kept looking backwards at the squiggly lines my tires made when I rode over the grass.

Of course no-one had yet informed me of the dangers of looking backwards while biking forwards.
As you can probably guess, I was about to learn first hand the true value of looking where you're going.

Dad called out to me and I turned around to look at him, as I did I noticed I was about to hit a power pole. I didn't have time to go around. Then I noticed it was one of the pole with the hole in the middle and suddenly it dawned on me, I could go THROUGH THE POLE!

It all seemed perfectly logical until my tire went through the gap.

I suddenly noticed my handle bars were much wider than the gap in the cement power pole. Unfortunately I realised this about a millisecond before the handle bars hit said cement power pole so of course I had no time to stop or turn away, merely stare in horror as the painful outcome of my foolish assumptions unfolded before me.

My handle bars hit the sides of the cement power pole, my bike lurched forward and I was propelled face first into the pole. Much to the delight of my brothers and the shame of myself.

Reemerging from the depths of Time

Wow.

So it's been quite awhile.

I must admit I've had several issues getting back into this.

I originally stopped writing because I became severely depressed when I discovered my cat Frei was not only dead that also, a) he had been poisoned and b) Dad found him,buried him and then didn't end up telling me for a whole week. I kind of spun off in this awful cycle of "I should've been there for him and I wasn't.It's my fault he's dead and if I can't even take care of a cat how can I expect to take care of anything else"

I was starting to pull myself out of this funk when I was asked to house sit for some church friends. A couple of days after I arrived their rat started to look really sick. I managed to contact them and they told me he was dying and the only thing to do was sit and wait for him to pass away. This ended up in a "I am the Angel of Pet Death, nothing can survive my presence" thought pattern which really just deepened the depression. 

After the rat was dead I realised that maybe this was a good thing, it gave me the time to mourn that I didn't have with Frei.

That kind of pulled me out of my funk. But by that stage I didn't have the courage to front up to you guys and admit how slack I'd been. 

So now it's been over a month since my last post, I've done almost no work on 21 Chapters of Childhood and it's all just kind of gone poo.

However. The end of the year is going to sort of be a new start, I'm moving out of home into a flat near Uni and I'm working on plenty of costumes and it's all sort of looking up from here.

Everything should be sort of back on schedule from here.

I'm still alive!!!

Hey guys just thought I'd make a post to say hey, I'm still alive! honest!

It's been insanely busy with trying to organise my party and German Play and essays and exam preparatons (sort of) and work.

I have been working on some awesome stuff to continue the "21 Chapters of Childhood" saga but I wanna make sure I flesh them out fully with proper artwork before I post them so you have decent stuff to read.

Here's a pic of my self that I cartoon-ified of me as Asuka Langley Soryhu (or Shikinimari, if you're watching 2.0) just to bribe you for patience.

Also, I have glasses! I got them on Tuesday. Here's a pic of me wearing them that I took just now and uploaded, it's 250 am. So be gentle with your judgement. 

Until next time!

21 Chapters of Childhood, Chapter three.

Children are cruel.
Especially when you are extremely short, have frizzy, curly brown hair and serious social ineptitude.

My first day of school was traumatic. This is fairly evident in the fact I still vividly remember it.

My primary school was made up of several buildings placed in two rows to kinda look like a giant equals sign. Each building had two classrooms back to back and it's own toilet block

So I arrive on my first day and my Mum takes me to my classroom to meet the teacher.

Then something awful happens, while I'm utterly bewildered by these strange, feral creatures my Mum calls "other children" the crafty tart sneaks out and ABANDONS ME!!!

                               

                               

I was very quickly shaken out of this clearly terrified state by the teacher turning to me and demanding I "Stop being such a baby!" I very rapidly became a pro at disguising fear among elders. 

The next onslaught came at lunch time when I no longer had the teacher to act as a buffer and security blanket between my self and The Others.

It was days before I was able to work out some sort of rudimentary communication system with these strange beings. I couldn't understand a word they were saying except that it seemed to be a jarbled mix of English words but at 10 times the normal speed.

                               

But back to my first day. The key thing that was missed out on my first day was a tour of the school and an explanation of where things were.
One thing I most definitely had not expected was multiple options when it came to toilet choice. Most homes have one kind of toilet and usually only toilet one per room.
This wasn't helped by the fact that the toilets, while separated into Male and Female, did not having signs on the door indicating which was which.

When lunch time came it was followed swiftly by the call of nature and I sought out the place to do my deed.
I found what appeared to be the communal bathroom and went in.
On my way I noticed that the toilet was in a stall and the wall by the door was covered entirely in shiny metal which had a trickle of water running down the center.

I though there must be a broken pipe or something.
I went into the stall, made my sacrifice to the tinkle fairy, washed my hands in the sink and walked outside where I was met by a circle of The Others, all giggling and staring at me.

The one wearing purple seemed to be their leader.
She pointed an accusatory finger and me and yelled amidst a fit of giggles "She went in the boys toilets! She did!Are you boy or a girl!That's the BOYS toilet!"
"N...no...it's... it's boys and girls..." Foolproof defense Jepha, foolproof.
Despite my excellent defense the taunting continued.
"The new girl goes to the toilet in the boys toilet!What a weirdo!"

At this point I start to cry, just a little (I lie, I was bawling my eyes out.But wouldn't you?)
"No... see...that part is for boys *points to shiny wall dripping water* and the other one's for girls..."
Another solid defense from future Wonder-Lawer, Jepha.

Needless to say the horrendous taunting continued until lunchtime ended and I was once again safe under the watchful eye of the teacher until the end of the day or they forgot about the whole thing, whichever came first.
At the end of the day I decided was NOT fond of  this whole school thing.

21 Chapters of Childhood, Chapter two.

When I was 12 years old my Mum had her first baby with her new partner. She's now 8 and drew a picture for you all. This is Karlia's picture that she drew by herself on MS Paint with no help from me cos she's THAT awesome!

Sorry that today was such a short post but I had my 21st family party to attend and I have a longer post coming for you tomorrow promise. It's about my first day at school.
Hope you like Karlia's Picture!
Here's a picture of the two of us I took just now, we're all snuggled up in bed listening to the rain outside! Cosy!